Local Man Forced to Shed Lockdown Coat
Banjo Wing-Wang Subscribers Only | July 18, 2020 2:15pm
A young Hobart man has reluctantly resorted to shaving his beard completely off overnight after many months of lockdown growth, claiming it didn’t match his costume for an upcoming fancy-dress party.
26-year-old Will Boddy from Clifton Beach has been growing his facial hair since before the Coronavirus pandemic forced the state, and also the country, into lockdown, until finally, after five long months of growth, the clippers were brought out.
Back in March when Mr Boddy was lain off work where he was arguably one of the most efficient and charismatic burrito wrappers in the state, he, along with many other industry professionals, were left jobless. To his dissatisfaction, he had no other choice but to make the move back in with his parents.
With no job and all his dignity seeping away, Mr Boddy had a lot more time of his hands, and this is when the prospect of continuing to grow his beard begun.
“With so much uncertainty at the end of March when work dried up, and the fact that Scott Morrison had already called this thing a pandemic, I went back to my parents’ house and was only really helping them out around the house – even taking the neighbours dogs for walks,” he said. “Next thing you know ‘lockdown’ was a thing, and I just kind of left my facial hair to flourish.
“It’s been a tough few months, but it takes a certain kind of man to grow a beard as wholesome and luscious as mine was, and when I inevitably had to cut it last night, it was pretty emotional seeing that part of me all scattered across the floor like that.”
In the months leading up to last night’s tragic events, Mr Boddy wasted no time pursuing his modelling career, shooting for popular beard oil manufacturers and even being personally contacted by photographers from an international lumberjack-themed calendar company.
With restrictions and grounding of airlines in and out of Tasmania, when asked about what it was like having to take his own photos, organising props, editing images and then sending them through to these high-end modelling agencies, he was nothing but complimentary.
“Yeah, I guess there’s more freedom to shoot the photos in my own time and at the locations and settings of my choice,” he said. “Obviously they send through a brief, but instead of being bossed around by a producer or makeup or whatever, I could do that all myself.
“It was so fun to just spend a couple of hours every few days taking the photos and then sending them off, and oh man, I’m so keen to grab a copy of the calendar. I think I got the December slot, so expect a saucy Christmas-themed lumberjack cutting down the thickest and most juiciest of trees.”
As Tasmania has now been COVID free for over 60 days, and with restrictions lifting almost every other week, it’s time for the island state to come out of hiding and return to some kind of normality.
With this, means a majority of locals may be lucky enough to return back to the workplace, thus forcing them to swap their comfy trackies for a nice pair of chinos, don the bra again, or slip on some sneakers instead of ugg boots.
Many trends seen throughout lockdown like TikTok dances, cooking and baking and even online shopping may have the potential to start easing their way into the background of our psyche, but, along with Mr Boddy’s facial hair, there are a lot of other unwanted habits people will be hard-strung to rid themselves of.
The “Isolation Haircut” has also been at the forefront of Mr Boddy’s mind, giving himself a questionable, yet respectable bowl cut around ten weeks ago, and as it begins to grow over, the thought of stepping back into the public eye “with a head like Friar Tuck” worries him.
“The fact that my head looked more or less like a cock for a bit there, I’m glad it’s growing back, but now that my chin is significantly less covered up – although the trim was necessary – I fear the winter chill will hit a lot harder over the next few weeks,” he said.
“The whole reason for getting rid of the majestic beard was not just to mark the end of an era, but frankly, it just doesn’t match with the fancy-dress costume I’ve procured for an upcoming party.”
He couldn’t say what he was going dressed as and made a big fuss about staying true to the character’s look, mentioning how such a defined and well-kept beard would compromise the whole integrity of the costume itself.
“I take fancy-dress pretty serious and to put it into perspective, imagine going to a party dressed as Marilyn Monroe, but couldn’t be [bothered] getting that iconic blonde wig. That’s how I felt about the beard, and it’s gone. Done. All that hard work. All that commitment. Let’s just hope this party goes absolutely off!”
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